One Last Drink

 

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, Tattooed biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, with his fist in my face.
As I burst into tears the biker says, "Come on, man," "I didn't think you'd CRY, dude I was just messing with ya"

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. Everything has gone wrong, I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man... and then my dog bit me."

"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a cyanide capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!

Akward Angle

[A Must Read] Very Funny Misunderstanding

A young woman who was several months pregnant was sitting in a bus.

When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition.

She changed her seat and he seemed more amused.

She moved again and then on seeing him laughing more.

She filed a court case on him. In the court the man's defence was :-

When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant.

She sat under an advertisement, which read "Coming Soon - The unknown boon"..

I was even more amused when she then sat under a shaving advertisement, which read :-"William's stick did the trick"..

Then I could not control myself any longer, when on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read

Warning For Grandma

Funny Application Letter

Dear Sir,                                        
                                                    APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT

I refer to the recent death of the technical Manager at your Company, and hereby apply for the replacement of the deceased manager.

Each time I apply for a job, I get a reply that there is no vacancy but in this case I have caught you red-handed and you have no excuse because I even attended the funeral to be sure that he was truly dead and buried before applying. Attached to my letter is a copy of my CV and his death certificate.

See Picture of the actual letter below

What Are You Looking At? Apply Some Speed

The Hallways

Crazy & Funny Definitions From Witty Cracks Dico

POLITICIAN
A subtle one who will shake your hand prior to elections but shakes your trust thereafter.

BOSS
A Superior whose timeliness is unquestionable. He's early when you're late. You're too early, when he's late.


 OPTIMIST
An unrealistic fellow. who while descending freely under gravity, from the 'Statue of Liberty', tells his deluded mind halfway: 'I won't get have a single scratch!'


 DIPLOMAT
The tactical one who tells you to run into Hades in such a manner that you start looking forward to the deadly trip in a lively mood.

A 'Sure' and 'Fun' Thing to Do

An Unusual Concept Of Antivirus

Can I Have Some Privacy Dog?