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75 Cents

A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.

The bartender says, "Dude, why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."

The bartender says, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "75 cents."

Three Words (Short Q & A Joke)

Q: What are the three words that a married person would never want to hear while committing adultery?

A: Honey I'm home