Witty Old Woman

A witty old woman in her mid 60's went to a store to buy food for her dog.

When she  reached the counter to pay, the cashier told her he (cashier) needed evidence that she indeed had a dog because some old folks had been known to just eat the animal food themselves. So she walked back to her near-by home to get her puppy, brought it to the store and then bought the dog food bought the dog food.

Five days later, she went to get food for her cat. Once again, the cashier demanded proof that the old woman actually had a cat. So she trekked back home again, got the cat, came back to buy the cat food.

Twelve days later, the old lady walked in the same store to buy 'pet food'. Again the cashier demanded proof but this time around, She held a bag in front of the cashier and told him to put his fingers in the bag and then smell them. When the cashier did, he said, "It smells like poop!"

                                             The old lady replied, "Is that enough proof?"

How Could You..?

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Incredible Power

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At the Spa

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What Happened In Mali?

A stout man drives to a saloon  in his BMW. He goes in, orders a drink, then leaves. His car is gone. He goes back to the saloon, and asks, "Where's my BMW?"

No one replies. So he says, "I'll order one more drink, and then if my BMW isn't outside, I'll have to do what i did in Mali and I don't like doing that because it's terrible."

So the locals hurry around, and when he leaves, his BMW is outside.

As the stranger gets in his car, the curious bartender asks, "What did you do in Mali?" to which the man whispers, "I had to walk home." Isn't that terrible?

Drunk

Very Stupid Questions

1. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?

2. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?

3. Why can't woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?

4. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say
"hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"?

5. If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit?

Today's Funny Illusion