The Selfish Solicitor

A big, burly man visited the pastor's home and asked to see the minister's wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses.

"Madam," he said in a broken voice, "I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400."

"How terrible!" exclaimed the preacher's wife. "May I ask who you are?"

The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes. "I'm the landlord," he sobbed.

Pet Takes Baby's Place

The Convention of Doctors

There's a bunch of doctors gathered together at a doctor's convention one night. A male doctor notices a female doctor from across the room. The female doctor notices also and the next thing you know, they're sitting next to each other by the end of dinner.

After dinner, the male asks the woman if she wants to go up to his hotel room.

'Sure,' the woman says. 'Let me go wash my hands first.'

After she washes her hands, they fornicate. When they finished, she washes her hands again.

That was really starting to piss off the male doctor so he said, 'You know, you must be a surgeon, because you keep washing your hands.'

Angry at this remark, the woman says, 'Well, you must be an anesthesiologist, because I didn't feel a thing!'

Forget Me As Your Father

Which's Got The Worst Job?

Birthday Madness

Last month Tom had his birthday....
His wife didn't wish him happy birthday when he woke up....
His parents seemingly forgot and so did the kids....
He went to work....
Even his colleagues didn't wish him.... As he entered his cabin his secretary said,"Happy Birthday Boss".... he felt so special.... She asked him out to lunch.... After lunch, she invited him to her apartment...
 They went there....With a beaming smile She said,"Do you mind if i go into the bedroom for a minute ?"
"OKAY",he said...
She came out 5mins later with a cake and his Wife,,His Parents,,His Kids,,His Friends & His Colleagues... All Screaming,,SURPRISE!.... And he was waiting on the sofa............. NAKED!

It's That Bad

Just Messi Alone

Right Behind You

Three Sons

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.

The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."

The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes."

The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible?

And you know she can't see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible.

It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."

Soon thereafter, mom sent out her letters of thanks:

"Milton," she wrote one son, "The house you built is too huge. I live in only one room, but I have to keep the whole house clean!"

"Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay at home most of the time, so I rarely use the Mercedes."

"Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "You have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious!"

Rigid Cramming