Terrible Hangover

Stupid Materialistic Dude

A well-paid middle-class professional who works in a city and has a luxurious life style was opening the door of his BMW when a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the yuppie complained bitterly about the damage to his car.

"Officer, look what they've done to my Car!"

"You yuppies are so materialistic, it's ridiculous" retorted the officer.

"You're so worried about your stupid BMW, you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off."

"Oh, my God!" screamed the man, noticing the bloody stump where his arm used to be. "Oh! My Rolex is gone!"

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Funny Q & A From The Bible

Biblical Questions and Answers


 



Q. Who was the greatest financieer in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
A. Ruth-less.

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The Third Wish

Two grad students and a professor are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke.

The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one." "Me first Me first " says the first grad student. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with a gorgeous woman who sunbathes topless." Poof He's gone.

"Me next Me next " says the second grad student. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other." Poof He's gone.

"You're next," the Genie says to the professor.

The professor says, "I want those guys back in the lab after lunch."

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