It's Just The Same

A married man goes to confessional and he tells the priest,
"I had an affair with a woman... almost." The priest says,
"what do you mean almost?"
The man says, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together
but then I stopped."
The priest replies, "Rubbing together is the same as putting
it in. You're not to go near that woman again, now say five
Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box."
The man leaves confessional, goes over and says his prayers,
then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave. The priest, who was watching him, quickly runs over to him and says, "I saw that, you didn't put any money in the poor box!" The man replied, "Well Father, I rubbed up against it and you said it was the same as putting it in!"

Common Sense Is Not Common

There was this girl that was so dumb that she called me to get my phone number.
She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "Concentrate."
She had to put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She tried to drown a fish.
She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
She tripped over a cordless phone.
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
She studied for a blood test. (CLICK HERE TO READ MORE)
When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
When she took me to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home

Crazy Prank

Clever Dentist