Three Old Sisters

Three sisters ages 72, 74, and 76 lived in a house together. One night the 76-year-old drew a bath. She put her foot in and paused. She yelled down the stairs "was I getting into or out of the bath?"

The 74-year-old yelled back "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She started up the stairs and paused. Then she yelled, "was I going up the stairs or down?"

The 72-year-old sat at the kitchen table having tea, listening to her sisters. She shook her head sadly and said, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful." She knocked on wood for good measure. She then yelled, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."

The 5-dimensional Life

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Time to turn off

It's time to turn off your computer when...

...you wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom, but stop to check your email first.

...you name your children Eudora, Aol, and Dotcom.

...you spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap, and your child in the overhead compartment.

...you decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free internet access.

...you start using smileys in your snail mail (if you even remember what that is).

...you find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com

...you refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

...you check your mail. It says "no new messages". So you check it again.

...you don't know what gender your three closest friends are because they have neutral screen-names, and you never bothered to ask.

...you move into a new house and decide to netscape before you landscape.

...you tell the cab driver to take you to http://1000.edison.garden/house/brick.html.

...you start tilting your head sideways to smile.

Bear-Frog

Top 45 Oxymorons

Here you will find the top 45 oxymorons.
An oxymoron is a combination of two words that are completely opposite in meaning. In the dictionary you'll find: "A rhetorical figure in which incongruous or contradictory terms are combined, as in a deafening silence and a mournful optimist."
You've probably heard many of these before but didn't realize that they fall within this category.

45. Act naturally
44. Found missing
43. Resident alien
42. Advanced BASIC
41. Genuine imitation
40. Airline Food
39. Good grief
38. Same difference
37. Almost exactly
36. Government organization
35. Sanitary landfill
34. Alone together
33. Legally drunk
32. Silent scream
31. Living dead
30. Small crowd
29. Business ethics
28. Soft rock
27. Butt head
26. Military intelligence
25. Software documentation
24. New classic
23. Sweet sorrow
22. Child Proof
21. "Now, then ..."
20. Synthetic natural gas
19. Passive aggression
18. Taped live
17. Clearly misunderstood
16. Peace force
15. Extinct life
14. Temporary tax increase
13. Computer jock
12. Plastic glasses
11. Terribly pleased
10. Computer security
9. Political science
8. Tight slacks
7. Definite maybe
6. Pretty ugly
5. Twelve-ounce pound cake
4. Diet ice cream
3. Working vacation
2. Exact estimate

...And the number 1 oxymoron is..
1. Wrong Works

The Avengers were in Egypt

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