This minister just had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures were being made.
The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes.
The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes.
But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes.
When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way.
The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk.
The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot.
The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures... and I couldn't stop talking!
A preacher, who shall we say was
"humor impaired," attended a conference to help encourage and better
equip pastors for their ministry.
Among the speakers were many well known and dynamic speakers. One such
boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd's
attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a
woman that wasn't my wife!" The crowd was shocked! He followed up by
saying, "And that woman was my mother!" - The crowd burst into laughter
and delivered the rest of his talk, which went over quite well.
The next week, the pastor decided he'd give this humor thing a try, and
use that joke in his sermon. As he surely approached the pulpit that
sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It suddenly
seemed a bit foggy to him.
Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "The greatest years of my life
were spent in the arms of another woman that was not my wife!" The
congregation inhaled half the air in the room. After standing there for
almost 10 seconds in the stunned silence, trying to recall the second
half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted out, "...and I can't
remember who she was!"
