Unravelling of Sexual Orientation Frustrates Family Man

A family man entered a bar one day and said to the bartender, 'Get me 4 double vodkas.'
The bartender replied in a deep tone, 'Hm! you definitely had one hell of a day today.'
'Absolutely right! Apparently, I discovered my eldest son is gay', the man retorted.

The following night, the same man walked into the same bar and requested the same drinks. Then the barman again asked what the problem was, the response came swiftly; 'I just discovered that my youngest son is also homosexual'

The 3rd day came with the same routine of the last two days; the same man and the same order. The bartender shouted, 'What is it this time? Gosh! Is there no one in your family who's attracted to women?'

The man took the first sip, gave a positive nod and said, 'Oh! Yes, actually my wife is attracted to women'.

Prank of Deception

That One Is Yours....

A man returns home one day and his wife softly whispers to his hearing, 'Sweetheart, I need just $30 to get some good meat.'

'Thirty dollars!... are you insane?', the man shouted. Come to the room, I have something to show you, he said. They move to the room and he stands in front of the mirror, pulls out exactly $30 and says with a smile (pointing to the mirror), 'Dear, the $30 I'm holding is mine, the one in the mirror is yours and you can have that'.

He leaves for work the next day but surprisingly, when he returns home he sees the kitchen table packed full of meat.

He gives his wife a stern look and exclaimed, "Honey, where the hell did you get money to buy these? Again she softly whispers. 'Come to the room, let me show you a secret.'

They hasten to the room, she positions herself in front of the mirror and lifts up her skirt.
'See that one in the mirror? That one is yours but this one belongs to the butcher.

Break-up Notes... Who Felt the Pain?

A dude sent his lover who resided elsewhere a 'break-up' letter which read "I am sincerely sorry about this, but I've fallen for a younger, more beautiful and wittier lady. I have therefore decided to put an end to this relationship asap. Kindly send back my pictures that are still in your possession
 .
.The Lady replied:
"Sorry dearie but I can't actually recall what you look like. So kindly and carefully pick out your own
photos from the 60 pics in that envelope and do well to return what's left. Thanks"

A Fun Thing To Do

Find the Squirrel: FBI, CIA and NPF on Mission Impossible

The FBI, the CIA and the Nigerian Police were summoned, to see who's the best at handling sophisticated situations. They were to be examined by the UN President. A squirrel was released into the forest and they were told to look for it, one after the other. The CIA goes in first. animal informants were strategically positioned in the entire forest. All biological and mineral witnesses were interrogated. Following 2 months of intense search they decided that squirrels no longer exist.

NEXT...The FBI . After 2 weeks with no meaningful leads, they burn down the whole natural habitat, destroying almost everything therein, including the 'wanted squirrel', and they show no sympathy.
Several months passed, FINALLY...the Nigerian Police moves in. They came out after 2 hours with a brutally battered Antelope. The Antelope kept yelling: "Yes! Yes! I'm a squirrel! I'm a squirrel!"

The Perfect Theft

Following several hours of shopping, a couple discover their car has been stolen. They reported to the Police. An officer takes them back to the parking spot to search for anything that could be of help in tracking the criminal. Surprisingly, the car was exactly where they had left it.

Now there was an apology letter on the windshield and two tickets to a music concert. The note read, "I'm sorry for borrowing your ride without your consent, but my woman was going to have a baby and I had to hot-wire your ignition to drive her to the clinic. Here are two tickets for Garth Brooks concert tonight.
 
With their belief in humanity right back on, the happy couple went to the concert but came home late. Alas! their house had been bugged. Their expensive possessions had been plundered. Now, there's a note on the door reading.......
"I have to provide for the kid somehow, don't I?" That's why I gave you tickets to the concert, so, i can come pack all i need. At least, you have your car back.

Thanks for being there for me...