WittyCracks

Friday, 12 July 2013

Find the Squirrel: FBI, CIA and NPF on Mission Impossible

The FBI, the CIA and the Nigerian Police were summoned, to see who's the best at handling sophisticated situations. They were to be examined by the UN President. A squirrel was released into the forest and they were told to look for it, one after the other. The CIA goes in first. animal informants were strategically positioned in the entire forest. All biological and mineral witnesses were interrogated. Following 2 months of intense search they decided that squirrels no longer exist.

NEXT...The FBI . After 2 weeks with no meaningful leads, they burn down the whole natural habitat, destroying almost everything therein, including the 'wanted squirrel', and they show no sympathy.
Several months passed, FINALLY...the Nigerian Police moves in. They came out after 2 hours with a brutally battered Antelope. The Antelope kept yelling: "Yes! Yes! I'm a squirrel! I'm a squirrel!"

Saturday, 6 July 2013

The Perfect Theft

Following several hours of shopping, a couple discover their car has been stolen. They reported to the Police. An officer takes them back to the parking spot to search for anything that could be of help in tracking the criminal. Surprisingly, the car was exactly where they had left it.

Now there was an apology letter on the windshield and two tickets to a music concert. The note read, "I'm sorry for borrowing your ride without your consent, but my woman was going to have a baby and I had to hot-wire your ignition to drive her to the clinic. Here are two tickets for Garth Brooks concert tonight.

With their belief in humanity right back on, the happy couple went to the concert but came home late. Alas! their house had been bugged. Their expensive possessions had been plundered. Now, there's a note on the door reading.......
"I have to provide for the kid somehow, don't I?" That's why I gave you tickets to the concert, so, i can come pack all i need. At least, you have your car back.

Thanks for being there for me...

Monday, 17 June 2013

The Smartest Dad In The World

Dad: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son: No
Dad: She is the daughter of Bill Gates
Son: Alright then

Dad goes to Bill Gates....

Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son
Bill Gates: No
Dad: He's the CEO of World Bank
Bill Gates: Alright then

Dad goes to President of World Bank....

Dad: I want you to make my son the CEO
President: Impossible!
Dad: He's the Son-in-law of Bill Gates
President: Alright. That's wonderful