Fired For Coke

Not An Avenger But A Pirate.....So Let's Keep The Fight Simple

Two Running Gas Men

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end.
At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter.
Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley and back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.
As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.
Gasping for breath, she replied, “When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I’d better run too!”

Today's Illusion

Saturday Nights and Sunday Mornings

One Question...Several Answers...Various Famous People

Simple Question: “Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?”


GEORGE W BUSH:

... We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not.
The chicken is either against us or for us.
There is no middle ground here.

BILL GATES:

I have just witnessed eChicken2012 which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook; internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR:

I have a dream... and envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Please read more after the cut..

That's Quite Heavy

Not A Stolen Car

 

After a meeting I was coming out of a hotel and I was looking for my car keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room... it wasn't there.
Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. My husband has shouted many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is, the ignition is the best place not to lose them. His theory is that the car will be stolen. Immediately I rushed to the parking lot, I came to a terrifying conclusion. His theory was right. The parking lot was empty.
I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, car number and description of the place where I parked etc. I equally confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.
Then I made the most difficult call of all, to my husband!!! "Honey," I stammered; I always call him "honey" in times like these."I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen." There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard his voice. "Idiot", he shouted, "I dropped you at the hotel !"
Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me." :$
He shouted again, "I will, as soon as I manage to convince this policeman that I have not stolen your car."!!!

Credit --- [[ Christell Crause ]]

Teacher And Her 3 Students

Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”
Boy 1: “I saw a strap of your bra.”
Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one week.”

Boy 2 laughed…
Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”
Boy 2: “I saw your bra straps.”
Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one month.”
...
Teacher bent down to pickup a chalk. Boy 3 started walking out of the class…
Teacher: “Why are you leaving?”
Boy 3: “I think my school days are over.”

R.I.P 3310

The Exam

 

3 guys did not show up for their exams because they didn't read, so they came up with a plan. They got themselves very dirty using grease then went to see their Head of department.

"Sir we are sorry we couldn't make it for the exam. We attended wedding outside the state and on our way back the car broke down, you can see how dirty we are, it was due to efforts to fix the car.

The HOD said it was okay; he told them to come back in 3 days to resit the exam.

After 3 days they went to the HOD. They were very ready for the exam because this time they studied real hard.

The HOD put them in 3 separate classes.
There were only 4 questions on the exam paper.

1 Who was getting married ? (25mrks).

2 Where was the reception ? (25mrks).

3 What colour was the groom's suit ? (25mrks).

4 What type of car broke down ? (25mrks).

Good luck!!! Your answers should be the same....OR ELSE, YOU'LL SEE MY TRUE COLOURS!