Everybody Knows Bubba

    Bubba was bragging to his boss one day. "I," he said, "know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know 'em." "Yeah, right," replied his boss, dubious. "No, no," responded Bubba, adamant, "Name someone."
    "OK," said his boss. "Tom Cruise." "Sure," replies Bubba. "Tom and I are old friends, we've known each other for years." "Prove it," answers his boss. So they fly out to Hollywood, knock on Tom Cruise's door and, sure enough, Tom Cruise opens the door and says: "Hey Bubba, great to see you! You and your friend, come in, join me for lunch!"

    Although rather full after lunch, Bubba's boss is still sceptical. "Your knowing Tom Cruise," he says to Bubba afterwards, "was just lucky." "Fine, then," retorts Bubba. "Name someone else."

    "Fine, then," says the boss. "Barack Obama." "Sure," goes Bubba, "me and Barack go way back." "Prove it," says his boss. So they fly out to Washington and knock on the White House door and when Barack Obama opens it he says, "Bubba, great to see you.
I'm just on my way to a meeting as it happens, but you and your friend can come in for quick cuppa and catch up.

"Shaken by this experience, Bubba's boss tries to think of someone Bubba couldn't possibly know. "Aha," he says, "The Pope." But Bubba says, "Sure, I know the Pope." The boss, thinking Bubba is seriously making this up now, says "Prove it." So they fly over to the Vatican but it's full of people and security guards and they can't get to the Pope.

    "Look," says Bubba to his boss, "I know all the security guards as well. If you wait here, in just half an hour I'll appear up there on that balcony next to the Pope." "Fine," says Bubba's boss, thinking Bubba couldn't possibly. But, half an hour later, Bubba and the Pope appear together on the balcony.

    When Bubba gets back down, however, he finds his boss has keeled over and fainted and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way up to his boss's side, Bubba asks, "What happened?" "Well," responds his boss, "I was fine, until the guy next to me asked: 'Who's that up on the balcony next to Bubba?'"