Do You Think She's Floating? Look Again

EYE TEST: What Number Do You See?

'I Was Carried Away By The Aroma', Housewife Caught Stealing Meat From Neighbour’s Pot

A housewife in Sapele, Delta State, identified as Oghenero (surname withheld), reportedly got her fingers burnt yesterday, when she allegedly attempted to steal a piece of meat from a neighbour’s soup pot.
It was reliably gathered that the woman, a mother of three, gained access to the soup after the neighbour who was preparing it left it on the fire unattended and went into her room to get her GSM phone which was ringing.
The light fingered housewife was said to have moved into the kitchen while the other woman was speaking with her caller but was caught by another neighbour who had been watching her movement from a distance.
Confirming the incident, the neighbour identified as Mrs Mouka Felicia, said the hot piece of meat fell from the thieving housewife’s mouth after she was slapped by her brother-in-law and she allegedly confessed to have been carried away by the aroma emitting from the pot of soup.
Family sources said the latest incident is not the first as the woman has been involved in several cases of petty stealing for which her husband threatened to send her packing.

HILARIOUS: Nigerian Comedian, Saka's Message To All Single Ladies On Twitter

Saka, the popular comedian, also had some thoughts for ladies who are very selective.

The Difference Between A Husband and A Computer

Girl Orders Boyfriend To Kneel In The Street & Slaps Him For Cheating [SEE PHOTOS]

See more Photos below after the cut........

What Marriage Does To Strong Men

No!...Not You

The Missed Call of Nature

6 Most Awkward Moments Married Couples Face!!!

If you think marriage is all about those beautiful romantic moments, you need a reality check! Married life is a kaleidoscope of moments, some romantic and some embarrassing and awkward. But yes, it is these 'Oops!' moments that add the much needed spice to a marriage. Years down the line, these moments will make you burst into laughter. After all, the kind of bond you build with your spouse largely depends on moments that are less than perfect.

If you are already married, you will relate to this list. In case you are not, there are some moments that you might want to avert! So, take a look:

1. Awkward kiss
The awkward kiss tops the list, and is experienced by almost everyone who is married. The awkward moment when you are about to kiss your partner, she/he suddenly moves and you plant the kiss on the nose instead. There are so many variations to the moment; each of you might have experienced some version of it sometime or other.

2. Loud fart
Oops! Another very common awkward moment is when you fart really loud. It just gets more embarrassing when you are in a more intimate position with your spouse, especially in the beginning stages of your marriage. However, as you continue living with your spouse, in happiness or despair or those farting moments, such moments don’t seem awkward anymore. Read more after the cut.

[A Must Read] Gbenga Adeyinka's Most Embarassing Moments

I have had two most embarrassing moments. The first one was back then when I was in the university. I was sleeping on the bed with my legs wide open.


I didn’t know my trousers were torn and my ‘Mandela’ was free. My room mates girlfriend knocked and I was feeling too lazy to open the door so I shouted and told her to come in.
She came in with two of her friends, all females. My room mate came in about five minutes later to tell me to ‘park’ well because my ‘Mandela’ was free in the open.
Professionally, I have been embarrassed as well. I had a concert for Star in Ejigbo, Lagos and I drove to Ejigbo in Oyo State and started looking for the venue of the concert only to realise that the event was actually in Lagos!

[PHOTOS] Flowers Shaped Like Manhood Spotted Outside Hotel

Proudly standing to attention, these phallic-shaped plants have been causing smirks and giggles.
The unfortunate topiary was installed in front of the site of a new Premier Inn being constructed in Woking, Surrey.
A reader of the Get Surrey website took the photos of the tall plants next to two ball shapes and said: "It has us all in stitches..."
However, the hilarious horticulture has since been chopped - with the balls removed by a workman.
A hotel chain spokesperson said: "It turns out the plants were actually not part of Premier Inn at all but were owned by the developers, so [they] were not our responsibility and they have now moved them.
"We cannot comment on this as they were not ours."
The new hotel is due to open on October 14.

Thanks to Facebook

20 Best African Stand Up Comedians 2013

A list compiled by popular comedy site Officiallaughs.com listing the top 20 best stand up comedians in Africa, has been released. The cute guy above (left) is apparently the best in Africa, followed by Basketmouth (right). See the top twenty below and tell us if you agree...

1 Trevor Noah (South Africa)
2 Basketmouth (Nigeria)
3 Michael Blackson (Ghana)
4 Riaad Moosa (South Africa)
5 Klint The Drunk (Nigeria)
6 David Kau (South Africa)
7 Daliso Chaponda (Malawi)
8 I Go Dye (Nigeria)
9 Eric Omondi (Kenya)
10 Eddie Kadi (Congo)

See the remaining after the cut.......

A Must Do: Try this Personality Test

Select a shape below that appeals to you the most and then scroll down to read about your personality.

Read more after the cut below

One Last Drink

 

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, Tattooed biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, with his fist in my face.
As I burst into tears the biker says, "Come on, man," "I didn't think you'd CRY, dude I was just messing with ya"

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. Everything has gone wrong, I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man... and then my dog bit me."

"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a cyanide capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!

Akward Angle

[A Must Read] Very Funny Misunderstanding

A young woman who was several months pregnant was sitting in a bus.

When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition.

She changed her seat and he seemed more amused.

She moved again and then on seeing him laughing more.

She filed a court case on him. In the court the man's defence was :-

When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant.

She sat under an advertisement, which read "Coming Soon - The unknown boon"..

I was even more amused when she then sat under a shaving advertisement, which read :-"William's stick did the trick"..

Then I could not control myself any longer, when on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read

Warning For Grandma

Funny Application Letter

Dear Sir,                                        
                                                    APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT

I refer to the recent death of the technical Manager at your Company, and hereby apply for the replacement of the deceased manager.

Each time I apply for a job, I get a reply that there is no vacancy but in this case I have caught you red-handed and you have no excuse because I even attended the funeral to be sure that he was truly dead and buried before applying. Attached to my letter is a copy of my CV and his death certificate.

See Picture of the actual letter below

What Are You Looking At? Apply Some Speed

The Hallways

Crazy & Funny Definitions From Witty Cracks Dico

POLITICIAN
A subtle one who will shake your hand prior to elections but shakes your trust thereafter.

BOSS
A Superior whose timeliness is unquestionable. He's early when you're late. You're too early, when he's late.


 OPTIMIST
An unrealistic fellow. who while descending freely under gravity, from the 'Statue of Liberty', tells his deluded mind halfway: 'I won't get have a single scratch!'


 DIPLOMAT
The tactical one who tells you to run into Hades in such a manner that you start looking forward to the deadly trip in a lively mood.

A 'Sure' and 'Fun' Thing to Do

An Unusual Concept Of Antivirus

Can I Have Some Privacy Dog?

Unravelling of Sexual Orientation Frustrates Family Man

A family man entered a bar one day and said to the bartender, 'Get me 4 double vodkas.'
The bartender replied in a deep tone, 'Hm! you definitely had one hell of a day today.'
'Absolutely right! Apparently, I discovered my eldest son is gay', the man retorted.

The following night, the same man walked into the same bar and requested the same drinks. Then the barman again asked what the problem was, the response came swiftly; 'I just discovered that my youngest son is also homosexual'

The 3rd day came with the same routine of the last two days; the same man and the same order. The bartender shouted, 'What is it this time? Gosh! Is there no one in your family who's attracted to women?'

The man took the first sip, gave a positive nod and said, 'Oh! Yes, actually my wife is attracted to women'.

Prank of Deception

That One Is Yours....

A man returns home one day and his wife softly whispers to his hearing, 'Sweetheart, I need just $30 to get some good meat.'

'Thirty dollars!... are you insane?', the man shouted. Come to the room, I have something to show you, he said. They move to the room and he stands in front of the mirror, pulls out exactly $30 and says with a smile (pointing to the mirror), 'Dear, the $30 I'm holding is mine, the one in the mirror is yours and you can have that'.

He leaves for work the next day but surprisingly, when he returns home he sees the kitchen table packed full of meat.

He gives his wife a stern look and exclaimed, "Honey, where the hell did you get money to buy these? Again she softly whispers. 'Come to the room, let me show you a secret.'

They hasten to the room, she positions herself in front of the mirror and lifts up her skirt.
'See that one in the mirror? That one is yours but this one belongs to the butcher.

Break-up Notes... Who Felt the Pain?

A dude sent his lover who resided elsewhere a 'break-up' letter which read "I am sincerely sorry about this, but I've fallen for a younger, more beautiful and wittier lady. I have therefore decided to put an end to this relationship asap. Kindly send back my pictures that are still in your possession
 .
.The Lady replied:
"Sorry dearie but I can't actually recall what you look like. So kindly and carefully pick out your own
photos from the 60 pics in that envelope and do well to return what's left. Thanks"

A Fun Thing To Do

Find the Squirrel: FBI, CIA and NPF on Mission Impossible

The FBI, the CIA and the Nigerian Police were summoned, to see who's the best at handling sophisticated situations. They were to be examined by the UN President. A squirrel was released into the forest and they were told to look for it, one after the other. The CIA goes in first. animal informants were strategically positioned in the entire forest. All biological and mineral witnesses were interrogated. Following 2 months of intense search they decided that squirrels no longer exist.

NEXT...The FBI . After 2 weeks with no meaningful leads, they burn down the whole natural habitat, destroying almost everything therein, including the 'wanted squirrel', and they show no sympathy.
Several months passed, FINALLY...the Nigerian Police moves in. They came out after 2 hours with a brutally battered Antelope. The Antelope kept yelling: "Yes! Yes! I'm a squirrel! I'm a squirrel!"

The Perfect Theft

Following several hours of shopping, a couple discover their car has been stolen. They reported to the Police. An officer takes them back to the parking spot to search for anything that could be of help in tracking the criminal. Surprisingly, the car was exactly where they had left it.

Now there was an apology letter on the windshield and two tickets to a music concert. The note read, "I'm sorry for borrowing your ride without your consent, but my woman was going to have a baby and I had to hot-wire your ignition to drive her to the clinic. Here are two tickets for Garth Brooks concert tonight.
 
With their belief in humanity right back on, the happy couple went to the concert but came home late. Alas! their house had been bugged. Their expensive possessions had been plundered. Now, there's a note on the door reading.......
"I have to provide for the kid somehow, don't I?" That's why I gave you tickets to the concert, so, i can come pack all i need. At least, you have your car back.

Thanks for being there for me...

The Smartest Dad In The World

Dad: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son: No
Dad: She is the daughter of Bill Gates
Son: Alright then

Dad goes to Bill Gates....


Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son
Bill Gates: No
Dad: He's the CEO of World Bank
Bill Gates: Alright then

Dad goes to President of World Bank....

Dad: I want you to make my son the CEO
President: Impossible!
Dad: He's the Son-in-law of Bill Gates
President: Alright. That's wonderful