CopyDog

Don't Park Here

Desperate Housewives

Nice Advert Concept Of A Strong Car

Terrible Hangover

Stupid Materialistic Dude

A well-paid middle-class professional who works in a city and has a luxurious life style was opening the door of his BMW when a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the yuppie complained bitterly about the damage to his car.

"Officer, look what they've done to my Car!"

"You yuppies are so materialistic, it's ridiculous" retorted the officer.

"You're so worried about your stupid BMW, you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off."

"Oh, my God!" screamed the man, noticing the bloody stump where his arm used to be. "Oh! My Rolex is gone!"

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Future Method Of Baby Delivery

Funny Q & A From The Bible

Biblical Questions and Answers


 



Q. Who was the greatest financieer in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
A. Ruth-less.

  CLICK HERE READ MORE

And They Said...

Question From Valdes

Any Problem Scoring?

Ibra Laments; Why Always Me

The Third Wish

Two grad students and a professor are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke.

The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one." "Me first Me first " says the first grad student. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with a gorgeous woman who sunbathes topless." Poof He's gone.

"Me next Me next " says the second grad student. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other." Poof He's gone.

"You're next," the Genie says to the professor.

The professor says, "I want those guys back in the lab after lunch."

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75 Cents

A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.

The bartender says, "Dude, why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."

The bartender says, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "75 cents."

Three Words (Short Q & A Joke)

Q: What are the three words that a married person would never want to hear while committing adultery?

A: Honey I'm home

Solution To Car Accidents

Duplicate Me, Let's See.

Bridal Issues

Female Teeth...Really Special

This minister just had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures were being made.

The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes.

The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes.

But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes.

When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way.

The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk.

The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot.

The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures... and I couldn't stop talking!

Unfair

The Wrong Joke

A preacher, who shall we say was "humor impaired," attended a conference to help encourage and better equip pastors for their ministry.

Among the speakers were many well known and dynamic speakers. One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that wasn't my wife!" The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, "And that woman was my mother!" - The crowd burst into laughter and delivered the rest of his talk, which went over quite well.

The next week, the pastor decided he'd give this humor thing a try, and use that joke in his sermon. As he surely approached the pulpit that sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It suddenly seemed a bit foggy to him.

Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of another woman that was not my wife!" The congregation inhaled half the air in the room. After standing there for almost 10 seconds in the stunned silence, trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted out, "...and I can't remember who she was!"

College Virginity Rate

Nagging Wife

 
                                                             CLICK ON THE PICTURE FOR A LARGER VIEW

It's Just The Same

A married man goes to confessional and he tells the priest,
"I had an affair with a woman... almost." The priest says,
"what do you mean almost?"
The man says, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together
but then I stopped."
The priest replies, "Rubbing together is the same as putting
it in. You're not to go near that woman again, now say five
Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box."
The man leaves confessional, goes over and says his prayers,
then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave. The priest, who was watching him, quickly runs over to him and says, "I saw that, you didn't put any money in the poor box!" The man replied, "Well Father, I rubbed up against it and you said it was the same as putting it in!"

Common Sense Is Not Common

There was this girl that was so dumb that she called me to get my phone number.
She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "Concentrate."
She had to put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She tried to drown a fish.
She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
She tripped over a cordless phone.
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
She studied for a blood test. (CLICK HERE TO READ MORE)
When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
When she took me to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home

Crazy Prank

Clever Dentist

How To Pose...

What Is Wrong Here?

Skin Transplant Surgery

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice.

She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."

"My darling," he replied, "think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."

Not Adopted

Call Me Later

Well Played Horse

Witty Duck

A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, we have no bread."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, we haven't got any bread!"

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any bread, and if you ask me again and I'll nail your dang beak to the bar you irritating dang duck!"

Duck says: "Got any nails?"

Barman says: "No"

Duck says: "Got any bread?

Vegetarian

Witty Parrot

A guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings.

"Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German," replies the shop keeper.

"And what happens if I pull both the strings?" our curious shopper inquires.

"I fall off my perch you fool!!" screeches the parrot.

Witty Politician

A member of the Senate, known for his hot temper and sharp mouth, exploded one day in mid-session and began to shout, "Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!"

All the other Senators demanded that the angry member withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder of the session.

After a long pause, the angry member acquiesced. "OK," he said, "I withdraw what I said. Half of this Senate is NOT made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!"

NYSC Goat.

Real, Weird and Funny: 14 Sensational Facts

1.Sometimes we look down at our watches 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is...
2.Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3.We totally take back all those times we didn’t want to nap when we were younger.
4.There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5.Was learning cursive really necessary?
6.Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
7.We can’t remember the last time we weren’t at least kind-of tired.
8.Bad decisions make good stories.
9.You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.(CLICK HERE TO READ MORE)

Show Me

Things To Keep In Mind When Flying An Airplane

Takeoffs are optional. Landings are mandatory.

If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you pull the stick back they get smaller(unless you keep pulling the stick back -then they get bigger again)

Flying is not dangerous-crashing is dangerous.

It's better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up there wishing you were down here.

The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the pilot cool. Want proof? Make it stop and then watch the pilot break out into a sweat. (CLICK HERE TO READ MORE)

Naked Chicks

Haha! ARE YOU STILL LOOKING FOR THE NAKED CHICKS? YOU GOT THEM RIGHT HERE. GET USED TO THE PRANK

Oh! Not That Mouse

Divert Your Course Now

    Radio conversation released 10th October 1995 by the Chief of Naval Operations
:
    Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

    Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

    Americans: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

    Canadians: No, I say again: divert YOUR course.

    Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS ENTERPRISE, A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW.

    Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

That's Why He's Iron Man

Damn! Women

Silly Things People Said In Court

Q: What is your date of birth?
 A: July fifteenth.
 Q: What year?
 A: Every year.

 Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
 A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

 Q: This myasthenia gravis-does it affect your memory at all?
 A: Yes.
 Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
 A: I forget.
 Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

 Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
 A: Oral. (CLICK HERE TO READ MORE)

Follow Your Dreams

Siblings

Everybody Knows Bubba

    Bubba was bragging to his boss one day. "I," he said, "know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know 'em." "Yeah, right," replied his boss, dubious. "No, no," responded Bubba, adamant, "Name someone."
    "OK," said his boss. "Tom Cruise." "Sure," replies Bubba. "Tom and I are old friends, we've known each other for years." "Prove it," answers his boss. So they fly out to Hollywood, knock on Tom Cruise's door and, sure enough, Tom Cruise opens the door and says: "Hey Bubba, great to see you! You and your friend, come in, join me for lunch!"

    Although rather full after lunch, Bubba's boss is still sceptical. "Your knowing Tom Cruise," he says to Bubba afterwards, "was just lucky." "Fine, then," retorts Bubba. "Name someone else."

    "Fine, then," says the boss. "Barack Obama." "Sure," goes Bubba, "me and Barack go way back." "Prove it," says his boss. So they fly out to Washington and knock on the White House door and when Barack Obama opens it he says, "Bubba, great to see you.